Every opening door has a story to tell and this is one of those stories. I've spent the last 8 weeks, 50 days to be exact in a detention. Wait? I'm not in High School and even if I had been well my campus didn't have detention. No, I mean that I've spent the better part of the fall season on a film set for a up and coming movie about high school students (non-disclosed name of film). During this 50 Day period, I decided to compile a list of what I learned on set, what inspired me, what amused me, and what was just plain weird.
The 100 things I learned on the film set of (undisclosed):
1. How to drive a golf cart
No joke the first day, this is what I did for hours. I had never driven a golf cart before, because I've never had to, not being a golf player of any sort.
2. How to type a call sheet
Typing over 80 words a minute, a useful and very sellable skill friends.
3. Why I never want to be a door-to-door salesmen
Want to film in LA, please proceed to asking everyone within a far to wide distance in the summer heat if they have any concerns.
4. How to make football helmets belong to a school
A sticker two finger spaces up from the little holes on either side of the helmet designates the spot for a school logo. According to one of our extras these helmets do not come painted...
5. Making it Work, real fashion thing
When dressing a girl to look like Brittany Spears in Hit Me Baby, One more time, requires at least four things: a plaid skirt, a white collared shirt, white socks and black shoes. When that white collared shirt is a men shirt that is too big for said girl, a hair tie becomes extremely useful. Also the fact that I may or may not have previously in life dressed in this exact same fashion might have been useful.
6. Red Bull is Expensive
7. Green Tape is not the same as Blue Tape
8. Almost all the smokers in the world work on movie sets (I could be assuming that one)
9. How to use a ratchet strap
10. Basic math skills should not be underestimated as an important skill in life
11. Inflatable people look as real as real people
12. All stories are important, they give you context to people you're working with
13. Drinking two water bottles on the drive home, helps you stay awake. Because no one falls asleep when they have to pee.
14. Being awake for 22 hours is easier than being awake for 36.
15. Never really believe anyone when they answer your question without making eye contact.
16. Not all fridges stay cold all night, when not plugged into a power source. So otter pops can take up to four days to freeze, in these conditions.
17.There are many different types of cigarettes: brands, blends, box colors, filters, etc.
18. For every one woman on set there are five men, which results in heavily influenced conversation amongst the women.
19. Fashion trends and hair styles are perception more than reality when you don't do any research.
20. If you aren't holding on when riding in a golf cart there is a 10% chance you could and will fall off and hurt yourself.
21. Pleasing other people is slightly overrated.
22. Lunch rooms are always going to feel like that moment in any high school movie when you have to decide what group you're in.
23. Anything you want to do is possible, as long as you figure out a way to do it.
The script supervisor on this movie told me her story about how she got into the business. Here it is: She was watching Men of Honor behind the scenes stuff and noticed a woman, with a binder, sitting near the director. She proceeded to look at the credits and figure out what that particular person did. She found her name and contacted her and asked her to teach her everything she did on set. And that was her story, seriously. No joke, who does that?
24. When you're not getting paid, you should ask for free things without shame.
25. Copiers and computers from 1982 don't like to print/ or copy more than 15 sheets at a time. (Also when a machine doesn't work you give it a different year of origin: 1982, 1965, 1973, 1992)
26. Coffee runs are better kept secret and slightly elitist in nature.
27. Doing stunts = half a day gone on 1/8 of a page
28. Taking a golf cart to a yogurt place three blocks away, not looked upon highly.
29. You will get blame for things that you pointed out where wrong to begin with.
30.Parking meters will take a credit card/ debit card for .50 cents for 15 minutes of parking.
31. Learn who your people are on set: create inside jokes, bring each other snacks and generally keep each other sane.
32. Sleeping for less than six hours is fine, unless you do it for 40 days and then you have to check your own heartbeat to make sure you're not a zombie.
33. Making a music video is in fact, different than making a movie.
34. Trying to do homework on set, is like trying to sleep in a nightclub.
35. There are 37 different types of sea lice.
I don't even really remember the context of this but if I did, I don't think it really is something I care to remember.
36.
Shooting schedules are not suppose to be living documents, like the Constitution, but actually SUPPOSE to be pretty set in stone.
37. Following key players of a film set on Twitter is actually rather helpful because you immediately know when something bothers them, when they need something, or when someone else is lying to you.
38. Meals are as follows: Breakfast (when you get to work), first meal (6 hours in), second meal (12 hours), third meal (is possible and is at 18 hours into your work day).
39. Don't use vintage wardrobe pieces, they rip, tear and generally don't have a possibility for doubles.
This results in sending a poor PA to Melrose with a picture and a task to find a vintage jacket. Three hours later, that same PA, has no jacket and little energy for anything else.
40. Emails are a false form of communication, they indicate that you can't talk to a person who is standing next to you. Same goes for text messages and phone calls.
41. Not everyone in life learned how to make coffee, or copies.
42. When you bulldoze your house and set it on fire, it will burn for two days.
43. If you fall asleep on set, there is a 87% chance someone is going to take a picture of you with their phone and post it to the internet: via twitter, facebook, etc.
44. When speaking about said film preface everything with, 'AS OF RIGHT NOW...', 'AT THIS MOMENT, THIS IS THE PLAN...', 'PLEASE NOTE THIS MIGHT CHANGE...'
45. Planet Star Claw.
46. It possibly takes 1 Producer, 1 Production Coordinator, 1 Locations Manager, 3 Art Department Peeps and several PAs to retrieve a chicken that has escaped.
47. If you're a PA, you are automatically considered a child. If you look older than a PA should, you are automatically not considered a PA.
48. Copier Toner has a sticker of tape on it that must be removed, otherwise it will melt inside the copier causing it to no longer work.
49. Water Melons can be not only filled with liquor but also with blood and guts when you need to blow something up.
50. Locking up means basically standing around and telling people what they should already know on a crew, but no one can be bothered with paying that much attention.
51. Second Meal between the hours of Midnight and 2AM is usually and almost always going to be pizza.
52. Fake Blood tints your hands for a little while.
53. There is a point where people aren't as charming as they once were... (Around Day 37 of a 33 Day Shoot for example)
54. Military Time after Midnight on the same day extends. So when it's 3 AM it's 27:00. Also interesting when adding increments of points they go up in 6 minutes. So 27.6 = 3:36AM.
55. Decisions are made by people who not only show up but also care.
56. When someone says "Welcome to.... We've been here for a while" after their third day, RUN.
57. Weather Reports are important. Partially Cloudy affects your entire day. Rain ruins everything. And sunshine makes you bitter when you're indoors.
58. A scene that is 1.2/8 of a page can and will take at least 6 days of shooting.
59. A 360 Stunt is not complicated. It involves an empty parking lot, water, some precision and a whole lot of confidence, guts and fearless sensibility.
This resulted from a conversation with Stunt Coordinator, where I explained that one of my life goals is to do that stunt when you're driving and suddenly pull a bitch (i.e. any movie with cars racing ever made)
60. The charming uncle personality type exists in people who aren't your uncle. As does the teenage babysitter more interested in her boyfriend, and many other such stereotypical people.
61. When in a large sound stage and you have to walk to the back to turn off the lights in the middle of the night, be aware that you won't remember where that flat bed was until you slam your ankle into it.
62. Irish boys, easily distracted mid-conversation by another conversation.
63. When someone starts a conversation with an apology be aware they are going to ask you for something you can't really say no to, because it's not really a question so much as a plead for aid.
64. When you don't turn off the air conditioner, things freeze and the air conditioner stops working.
65. Crash mats = great beds.
66. Fire flames upward.
67. Details are important. Details make or break entire scenes.
68. After countless nights of not sleeping, actually going to bed at a decent hour is unnatural and difficult.
69. There is a 97% chance that when walking into a conversation on a movie set, people will be talking about movies (shock right?)
70. Keying means when you plug in a headset to a walkie without turning it off resulting in whatever you say being heard by everyone with a walkie on, until someone takes pity on you or gets aggravated by your stupidity.
71. Keying is exceptionally easy on walkies that are broken, useless, and generally don't work.
72. People who work in prop houses enjoy themselves.
73. Drive-Thru Starbucks think you're playing a cruel joke when you order 19 drinks. They might even leave their mics on long enough for you to hear them say something rude about how you better damn well actually have money and be for real.
74. Mumbling indicates two things - 1. the person mumbling wants you to know they are peeved about something. 2. They are aware their thoughts might not be widely accepted.
75. Always get all the contact information for all the people responsible for paying you.
76. Knowing who was president in 1945 and 1865 is apparently weird. (FDR & Truman for 1945 depending on what time of the year we're talking and Lincoln & Johnson for 1865 for anyone who was wondering).
77. Arcade Fire, a band.
78. How to play Lacrosse.
79. Apples and honey are a way to celebrate the New Year in the Jewish faith.
80. Rosh Hashanah is Jewish New Year, and is celebrated in a variety of different ways including but not limited to fasting, prayer, and sharing of apples and honey.
81. Carrying gum is a sure fire way to become friends with certain people. Sort of like carrying lighters and cigarettes.
82. How to create a fake forest.
It involves many things that I am actually allergic to, which was awesome.
83. Getting sick on set is only good because the Medic has everything.
84. Don't publish photos of an unreleased film, production 101.
You could get fired, for reals.
85. Do not use Mop n' Glo on high school gym floors.
You know when your friends started self tanning in high school and would come to class orange... that's what sort of happens to fancy floors with mop n' glo.
86. When purchasing water bottles for a crew (average 80 people) the math should be as follows - 80 people, working 16 hours, drinking at least 3 bottles = 12 flats of water (min) though I would go with 15 just in case and this is based on the idea that there are 20 bottles per flat. Otherwise you will run out of water at 5 AM.
87. Things Change.
88. For a crew of 100, its takes 2 3-yard dumpsters a day to accommodate their waste
89. Call sheets are pointless as no one reads them anyway
90. How to take script notes
91. The difference between a production, electric and grip truck. Ok that's not entirely true, I really don't know the difference so much as I know who is a PA, Electric or Grip....
92. This is not so much what I learned as it is what I want everyone else to learn, high school is TWO words. At no point should we ever write highschool as one word because that is in fact, incorrect.
93. Wrestling mats can be invested by a fungus that grows from wrestler's sweat, if the mat is not cleaned and the wrestlers repeatedly slam into it for hours (because a shot is out of frame).
At least that is what I understood from a conversation I was eavesdropping on around 1 AM....
94. Grace on a movie set is not something involving prayer. But actually is a way to say "we're not going to lunch until we finish this, don't sue us."
95. The cooler that says "Ice Tea" is usually Lemonade, and the cooler that's not labeled is usually the "Ice Tea."
96. Always stand for your principles for your sake and the sake of others.
97. People notice how hard you work, really.
98. Sometimes a shared drink at dawn is the best thing.
99. Watch out for trees:
100. Common sense is in-common.
For anyone who was on this set with me, thank you all for being wonderful. And I hope you enjoyed my points!
Hugs.
Lesley
